The Fault in My Scars

When I was 21 I had surgery for an inflamed pericardium (membrane around the heart) and came out of surgery a cancer patient.  The pericardium was mostly removed but at that time the doctors discovered a stage 3b Hodgkins Lymphoma tumor surrounding my heart.  I have the “zipper” scar on my sternum that wont let me forget.  It reminds me that life isn’t always fair; that life is worth fighting for.  It reminds me to live life each day as if it were my last.  Unfortunately cancer isn’t like chicken pox and once you have it once, the odds are greater than others that you will get it again.  My scars remind me to keep a watchful eye.  My scars remind me that I cant get too comfortable in my body.

This must be what a felon running from the law feels like.  Always looking behind their shoulder, and wondering when the law will catch up to them and find them.  I’ve felt that way for 14 years.  It was worse at first when they told me the cancer was gone but that I needed to have some CT Scans every month to be sure.  For the last five years, I’ve just done scans if I had any problems.  But as a survivor, any cough, ache, or pain that won’t quit is a cause to raise red flags.  I have lost track of how many cancer scares I’ve had these past years.  I’ve stopped feeling scared, I’ve trained myself to just watch and see.  Do the tests and see what the answer is, then decide to be scared.  I’ve been lucky and haven’t had a reason to be scared, until this year. 

For fourteen years I’ve awoken every day and breathed air that wasn’t meant for me. I drew the “get out of jail free” card in 2003 and have been looking over my shoulder ever since.  I know I shouldn’t be here on this earth but I am and I am trying to make my life mean something.  I’ve had fourteen years but I’m selfish because I want all the years.  I want to watch my baby learn how to walk and my older babies grow up and go to college.  I want to be a grandmother and retire with my love, my Lee.  I am selfish.  I am a horrible person. 

I am getting medical test after medical with no answer for my pain.  Its hard not to wonder if its happening all over again.  But until I know one way or the other, I just wait.  Maybe tomorrow I’ll draw a card from “The Community Chest”  that says “bank error in your favor.”

#13 Violas Mail Time- Sheila sends her a card!

Viola's Mimi has spread the word about her Mail Time channel!  Thanks Mimi!  On this episode, Viola reads a card from Mimi's friend, Sheila.  Thanks Sheila!  If you would like Viola to read your card on her channel, send her a card in the mail.  We will do these videos through summer 2017.

#12 - A Letter from Emjay

Viola's Aunt has told her kids at work all about Viola's Mail Time.  They love watching all the new episodes.  Most of the kids wrote Viola awhile back and now its Emjay's turn.  Thank you Aunt Amy and the kids, especially Emjay! 

Do you have a note you want Viola to read?  At the beginning of this school year Viola could only read a few small words!  She has grown so much learning how to read through Saxon Phonics.  Message me for the address if you have something for her to read. 

Viola's Mail Time #11- A Happy Mardi Gras Message from The Birthplace of Mardi Gras!

On this special episode, Viola receives a Mardi Gras package straight from Mobile, Alabama.  Thank you cousin Molly!!!  Viola tastes Moon Pies on video!  LOL

I know you want Viola to read a note from you on her channel!  Let me know if you need her address. 

The BIG 10! Viola's Mail Time- a valentine from Rachel and Robert

Robert and Rachel have done it again!  Viola received a Valentine and we shot this a few wks ago.  Due to a death in Viola's family and then a subsequent Spring Break she had a little extra time off.  Now she's back and reading better than ever!   If you have a note, or a card you would like her to read mail it to her.  PM me for the address.  We will shoot these throughout the summer of 2017 (at least!)

Viola's Mail Time #9- Kathy K

This time on Viola's mail time, Viola reads a letter from Kathy K, Mimi's good friend.  She got the letter in the mail from Kansas! 
Viola's baby brother JJ tried to help her this time...
If you are friends of the family outside of the internet, you can participate too!  Dont you want to hear Viola read your mail?  PM me for the address.  In the least, we will continue to do mail time throughout the summer of 2017. 
This started as a fun activity to help encourage Viola to read.  She loves hosting her own show, but has been slower than her sister learning how to read.  Viola just turned seven and is completing Saxon Phonics One this year and learning so much!

Viola's Mail Time #8- Beth

This time on Viola's mail time, Viola reads a letter from Beth, the red Crayon. Crayons Improv is her Mom's improv group.   She got the letter in the mail from Pittsburgh Pennsylvania!
 If you are friends of the family outside of the internet, you can participate too!  Dont you want to hear Viola read your mail?  PM me for the address.  In the least, we will continue to do mail time throughout the summer of 2017. 
This started as a fun activity to help encourage Viola to read.  She loves hosting her own show, but has been slower than her sister learning how to read.  Viola just turned seven and is completing Saxon Phonics One this year and learning so much!

Viola's Mail Time- The Kids from Kansas! #4, #5, #6, #7

Viola's Aunt Amy told the kids she is nannying all about Violas Mail Time and now they are HUGE fans!  The kids old enough to write sent Viola ADORABLE letters.  I've put them all in the same post because that just made sense :-)

This time on Viola's mail time, Viola reads a letter from Jeremiah, Jayvon, Kyra, and Keyvon, some of Aunt Amy's charges.  She received the letter in the mail from Kansas! If you are friends of the family outside of the internet, you can participate too!  Dont you want to hear Viola read your mail?  PM me for the address.  In the least, we will continue to do mail time throughout the summer of 2017. 
This started as a fun activity to help encourage Viola to read.  She loves hosting her own show, but has been slower than her sister learning how to read.  Viola just turned seven and is completing Saxon Phonics One this year and learning so much!

Viola's Mail Time #3- Aunt Amy's Valentine

This time on Viola's mail time, Viola reads a valentine from her Aunt Amy she received in the mail!  If you are friends of the family outside of the internet, you can participate too!  Dont you want to hear Viola read your mail?  PM me for the address.  In the least, we will continue to do mail time throughout the summer of 2017. 
This started as a fun activity to help encourage Viola to read.  She loves hosting her own show, but has been slower than her sister learning how to read.  Viola just turned seven and is completing Saxon Phonics One this year and learning so much!

The Seventh Birthday

Advice was given to me from a very wise wife of a firefighter.  She told me that holidays aren't about the date.  Holidays are about celebrating when you can, all together as a family.  At the time, I was marrying my daughters' father, a doctor.  This wife had no idea just how handy this advice would be, years later, as one family became two.  My youngest daughter turned seven and I didn't see her on her birthday.  Its one of the harsh realities of divorce.  I'm missing bits and pieces of kids' lives.  I told her we would celebrate her birthday on Saturday the 4th even though her birthday was Monday, the 30th.  A month before her birthday she requested a surprise party.  She then proceeded to try to plan every aspect of the surprise party!   It was so adorable.  We planned to surprise her with a party on Friday and she would wake up on Saturday and it would be her "Birthday."

It was a huge success!  Since Saturday was her "Birthday" she was indeed surprised.  Apparently she had planned that her party would be on her "birthday." 

   

On Saturday we did our Birthday rituals.  First, when my new 7 year old woke up, I asked her how it felt to be seven years old.  Something my Mom would ask on my birthday.  Then, I made her a special birthday breakfast.  Viola dictated the menu in advance:  pancakes, bacon, and sausage.  I also made her some hot cocoa (one of her faves) and she was so excited. 

After playing with her new toys, we took her to spend her birthday money at the mall.  She went to Build a Bear and the Disney Store and found out it doesn't take long to spend $75! 

For dinner she chose where we ate.  That's also a part of the birthday ritual.  This year she chose Burger King which was a welcome deviation from previous years when she requested the "sample store" (her name for Sam's Club)  After eating at Burger King she had some time to play on their big indoor playground.  Then I took her to see Peter and the Starcatcher at the Tulsa PAC.  She was happy to have a date just with her Mom. 

All in all, Viola's seventh birthday was a huge success! 

Viola's Mail Time: Aunt Georgie's Card

Viola and I have added a new activity to her homeschool curriculum:  Viola's Mail Time.  On this edition of VMT, Viola reads her birthday card from her Great Aunt Georgie.  If you would like to hear your mail read on VMT, email me: nicoleulahr@gmail.com

Viola's Mail Time

One of the biggest factors pushing me to home school my kids was the fact that my six year old daughter could barely read her own name.  We made a goal that for her 7th Birthday (which happened this week) she would be able to read her birthday cards all on her own.  This is a skill her sister had years before turning seven.  Last summer, we started to work on her reading more seriously and this fall began Saxon Phonics I.  We now spend at least an hour a day focused on improving her reading.  I am so proud of all she has accomplished. 

As part of her learning, I have this fun idea. Viola has recently very badly wanted to do a youtube channel.  Since its her birthday week, she has gotten some cards in the mail.  So now as part of her learning time, we are going to be shooting brief videos of her reading her mail.  Would you make my daughter's day and help her learn how to read by sending a SHORT message via the mail?

Maybe you have a learner who is learning how to write.  They may think it will be fun to send her a very short message via the mail. 

If I already know you in real life, I'll PM you my address.  If this becomes very popular, we'll get a PO BOX.  Message me on FB or email me if you want to participate:  nicoleulahr@gmail.com

She has already done the first video and it's ADORABLE.  Don't you want to see your message on Viola's Mail Time?   WATCH WHAT SHE HAS ALREADY DONE!  I got so tickled taping this because of what she says near the end. 



We will tweak the next few and keep working on the lighting and quality.  I hope you will join me in encouraging literacy!  We are planning to do this at least throughout the summer of 2017.